Where Has Femininity Gone?

St. Therese

As my first post, I would like to address one of the ever growing issues in today’s society: the loss and lack of femininity and modesty. I have noticed how of late it has become much more apparent than it ever has; everywhere you turn you find traces of feminine degradation. On the news and in the media, in music, in schools and in the workforce there is a sign of secularism and perversion towards women. Although women are “the gentle sex”, they have tended to be treated like “objects” in some cultures, and nowadays pornography, contraception and abortion are actually encouraged, leading to the very destruction of the female body and soul. It saddens me to see such a decrease in good, young women and I have no clue when it all went wrong!

Very frequently I notice how women are trying to compete with men to prove to the “stronger sex” that they aren’t “weak” and deserve the same amount of rights by taking over men’s jobs and competing with them intellectually. Our society encourages “strong” and independent women; you can find this in politics with Hilary Clinton and of course on television with women like Rosie O’Donnell and Ellen DeGeneres. Women are congratulated when they make in into the Army and go off to fight, and when they do “hard” jobs that should otherwise be for men (like being prison guards, police officers, and road workers) Some women are glad to inform you that they do not plan on getting married and never ever want kids and they love being able to “support” themselves. Being a feminine woman does not mean being independent and selfish even though our society tells us that. And since our culture doesn’t encourage femininity, men aren’t encouraged to be chivalrous, a much needed quality in men. So because men aren’t encouraged to be masculine and chivalrous, marriages are going downhill extremely fast.

Luckily, being feminine does not make a woman weak at all. If anything, femininity makes a women stronger in ideals, respect and in faith. Being feminine means being gentle, compassionate, very modest, charitable, kind, considerate of others and of course respecting and listening to what men have to say. Men and women thankfully are not “wired alike” and have different emotions, thoughts and feelings. But God made man and woman this different on purpose. Not to make them unequal but to make them complementary. Men become masculine and “themselves” thanks to the love and affection of their wives and the wives are transformed by their husbands’ strength and courage.

Sure, men are stronger and more dominant than women but that is nothing to be ashamed of. Sure men are more inventive, creative and productive seeing that most theologians, philosophers and artists have been men. But women nurture, care for others and suffer with and for everyone possible; it is infinitely more valuable in God’s eyes to suffer out of love for him that to conquer nations and fly to the moon. :)

For example, the great sufferings of St. Theresa of Avila, St. Therese of Lisieux and Saint Bernadette are perfect models of true femininity, even though they constantly referred to themselves as “weak”. They teach us the power and acceptance of ones weakness and of an infinite confidence in God’s love and power through prayer and penance. Also, St. Monica who brought St. Augustine back to God, St. Francis de Sales and St. John Bosco’s mothers were key factors in these saints way to holiness- a sure sign that being a mother and praying for your children requires great trials and tribulations.

So the solution to bringing back femininity? Well, Alice von Hildebrand, author of “The Privilege of Being a Woman” knows the perfect and simple way for increasing pure, holy femininity in the world. She says that “Women can find supernatural strength in what feminism perceives as her weakness and look to MARY as a model of PERFECT femininity”. Most certainly, through imitating the Mother of God will women, the guardians of purity, find their way back to the beauty and dignity of their mission to get to heaven. You can’t go wrong when you have the Mother of God as your model and your mediator to God in heaven. Even though Mary is perfect and sinless while we are so sinful, it should be every woman’s goal to imitate the virtues of our most beloved Mother.

So, when women see that it is not weak to be feminine and that being a woman is a privilege will women gain respect. And until women receive respect from men and in return women learn to respect themselves in word, dress, and deed will our generation have hope. Only until marriages are kept sacred and infinite will women gain femininity. And only until women imitate the Blessed Virgin Mary and men imitate St. Joseph will marriages be redefined.

And then hopefully, through the Holy Family and through the communion of Saints will men become true men to help make women become true women.

About Miss Angela Rose

Ave Maria! I am a 17 year old hardcore Catholic and I live in the middle of nowhere, Connecticut. I love reading, singing, eating and talking (aka arguing) :) God Bless!
This entry was posted in Catholic Church, Catholic Discussion, Chivalry, History, Life, Personal Commentary, Women and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

30 Responses to Where Has Femininity Gone?

  1. Tina Russell says:

    I found your blog on google and read a few of your other posts. I just added you to my Google News Reader. Keep up the good work. Look forward to reading more from you in the future.

    Tina Russell

  2. Amanda says:

    Yes! Being feminine does not equal weakness! Actually, being feminie requires great strength, and inner strength. Back in the so called “old fasioned days”, when women didn’t have the freedom they do now, who was it who ran the household when the men were out working. Who was it who stayed behind, worrying and praying while the men marched off to war? Who was it who shouldered every houshold burden if the men didn’t return? The women! Those who were feminine! They were not weak, but very strong!

  3. An excellent post! Welcome aboard Angela! Often enough, the idea of true femininity is often misunderstood by women, who have become indoctrinated with the idea of being ‘strong’ and ‘independent.’ It is wrong for one sex to deem themselves worthy enough to be independent of the other. God put man and woman into the garden for a reason… I take it He knew what He was doing. ;) And as you’ve mentioned, men and women are supposed to be complimentary beings. Each making up what is lacking in the other.

  4. marceg says:

    Bene! Great post, I think it longer thatn all of mine combined :) . But you are indeed correct and it seems to be somthing only noticed when one starts to become contempt of the world, and sadly more people are trying ways to find themselfs ways to be more worldly and try to ‘keep up with the Jones’s’ as they say.

  5. adam says:

    well said angie. a woman is only strong and truly “woman” when she embraces those qualities that set her apart from man. i don’t know when it all went wrong either but the media has a powerful influence on the weak minded or spirtually un educated youth of the world. could it all be part of an evil agenda to destroy the woman, the heart of a family? who else can bridge the gap between heaven and earth other than a woman who through the power of God brings new life into the world. what a dignity that i as a man am a little jealous of……. keep writin sis, im so proud of you

  6. Satan’s main plan is to destroy the family, which is none other than the basic unit of human society. Without the family, there can be no truly sound society. If he can get women to to despise their roles as mothers, and men to despise the responsibility of fatherhood, he has succeeded in destroying the ground support of the family. The Parents.

  7. Sarah says:

    There are still women out here who want to be feminine, desire marriage and family more than a career, and feel that the feminist movement has destroyed THAT choice for many women. It is much more difficult to find a decent man who will commit to marriage with one woman for life and shoulder the responsibility of providing, so his wife is free to nurture. Kudos to the truly strong men who are willing to do it!

  8. Yes, that is true. But this situation is brought about by failure on both sides. The failure of men as fathers, and the failure of women as mothers. It seems there is more interest in bringing back the proper family in some young people. Which is what we need in this day and age.

  9. marceg says:

    why does everything have to be so complex? i feel bad for girls, its like playing tug-of-war, society tells them one thing and the Church tells them another, i wish they could all just see that society dosn’t really care and is sending them empty promises.

  10. Society is like that. One way, or the other. And often enough, people are blind to this tub of war, and simply look at it all as ‘life.’

  11. Lady Gabriella says:

    Hooray for Angela!!! Hearts to you!

  12. Jenny says:

    “Sure men are more inventive, creative and productive seeing that most theologians, philosophers and artists have been men.”

    I can agree with most of what you said. The only thing that I find complete idiocracy is this quote above. The only reason you will find that men were more dominant in those areas, isn’t because God made them more creative and inventive, it’s because for thousands of years women weren’t even thought to be actual people. Women weren’t allowed to be what they had the potential to be, because they had no “right” to it. In fact, with the exception of the last 100 years or so, you writing this little blog would have meant you to be downgraded in society because you chose to speak your mind.

    I do agree that there needs to be more femininity in media and our world is going down the drain. But lets be honest with ourselves for a second, blogging about it isn’t going to do anything. Corporations aren’t going to come on this website and start changing their ways because someone wrote bad things about them. Action is the only thing that will change the world because it is the only thing that the world understands.

  13. Well, I wouldn’t say women weren’t thought of as actual people. Chivalry and Knighthood basically revolved around women in a small sense of it. The protection of them. Women ARE the weaker sex, in the physical, and often emotional aspect of things; yet they seem to attain sanctity and the like more easily. For more than often, we find a woman turning to God in prayer, sooner than a man would. So in studying all the aspects of the situation, its not a battle of the sexes, but a battle which we must join together. Men and women compliment each other, much like how Faith compliments Reason.

    Action is always required, and I am an advocate of it myself. But what can we actually do in a world where people are to comfortable to get off their bottom? At least, what we can do through blogging, is inform and educate people as to the truth. Which may indeed be planting the seeds for God’s further use.

  14. Ellen says:

    “Sure men are more inventive, creative and productive seeing that most theologians, philosophers and artists have been men.”

    This is basically the only thing in your post I disagree with. Jenny, the above commenter, said it pretty well.

  15. Catherine says:

    I love this subject, I agree with you completely about imitating Our Lady to become truly feminine.

    “Sure men are more inventive, creative and productive seeing that most theologians, philosophers and artists have been men.”

    I would only say that neccesity is the mother of invetion, so women were as creative as they needed to be. We always had the ability to be “theologians, philosophers and artists”. We just didn’t always have to be when the men could do it. ;)
    I liked the Blog!

  16. And when there were no men, the women did it. lol Just look at Joan of Arc. There was someone else as well during the French Revolution, who said “What has happened to the men of France?”

  17. IIzO says:

    Wow this view of feminity is totally cultural not natural totally ethnocentric as if the western world was the only one to have existed…what you call feminity is cultural submission on a physical/sexual basis…its awesome how many want to keep women in the “house chores” tasks and force them into marriage (of course the man leads and the woman follows)…”Back in the so called “old fasioned days”, when women didn’t have the freedom they do now” thats exactly the problem….now women have freedoms and are judged on their deeds and actual capacities not on a filthy “Sure men are more inventive, creative and productive seeing that most theologians, philosophers and artists have been men. But women nurture, care for others and suffer with and for everyone possible; it is infinitely more valuable in God’s eyes to suffer out of love for him that to conquer nations and fly to the moon.” prejudice…you are a complete macho…i know a few women that could tear your throat or make you ko…i know a lot you wont be able to compete with in studies or such….but you wont let them the chance and like our ancestors you will continue a male domination systeme when every girl will be stopped from learning , going for their dream job…you want to cut their possiblities…anyway thats how we jealous and autocratic always competing male made our societies.Dont misunderstand…im not against women to stay home if they want to serve their husband if they want to….i just want them to understand that MALES can take care of children too that women can do manual tasks too, that” acceptance of ones weakness and gentle, compassionate, very modest, charitable, kind, considerate of others and of course respecting and listening to what men have to say.” are not bond by sex those are the very qualities to be a true humanist….not about being feminine…if you males think you are not ….you are not that of a good christian or maybe jesus was a girl who knows.

  18. Miss Angela Rose says:

    Whoa there Ilzo..your “logos” needs some tuning up. Might I recommend Aristotle for your dilemma? He knew very well how to create a LOGICAL argument..hmmm while your at it, why not ask about pathos and ethos? :)

  19. IIzO says:

    ‘Scuse me what?Can you make your argument one too?I mean you preach to do what you do not do so…:) How am i suppose to know
    “Might I recommend Aristotle for your dilemma? He knew very well how to create a LOGICAL argument” Sorry done already .Prejudice are bad.Sarcasm try again pliz (btw needless sarcasm are the enemies of discussions if you want to be insulting you shouldnt post :) )

  20. The Contradictor says:

    I never understood why women wore make up while they (ok not all women) are very attractive without any plus if everything is possible with make up and chirurgical medecine , there are like no truths in beauty.I dont think that women wearing pants are unatractive i dont like overly sophisticated fashion either ,except if its for spiritual engagment for a philosophy/religion but even that could be discussed.

  21. Gen Lorraine says:

    Normally I am all on board with the return to femininity, and I certainly understand the need for gender roles in society. However, I cannot stand idly by and let you think that women are not every bit as intelligent and creative and productive as men. You, my dear, need to enroll yourself in a womens’ lit class. For that matter, you need to enroll yourself in some basic English classes. Maybe learn the difference between woman and women.
    If a woman is going to be a good mate for a man, she better damn well be able to keep up with him!

  22. garden of carmel says:

    Gen Lorraine – I’m sorry, I don’t see what enrolling in a basic English Class will do for Miss Rose. Women don’t need to keep up to men – they need to compliment each other – we all know that men and women are different in many ways – even to the point of being gifted with talents that women won’t have. But we don’t feel slighted in any way – a good mate looks at the total package and lives and loves what it offers. Why do I need to “keep up with my husband” when we give and take equally. What Miss Rose is trying to extend to the blog world is how women have become mere objects – and that is what the media want us to think. I”m sorry, I”m more than that – I’m created in God’s image – with a mind, will and soul – and no man will take that from me. I too want a return of “real” men, those who would die for their ladies – not the other way around. You cannot deny that the world has been turned upside down to the point that men are “marrying” men and women to women. And you call that intelligent? I’m not weak because I”m a woman, I’m equal in all ways – but honestly I don’t want to be in war – frisk a would be felon – or drive a snow plow. Let the men do manly jobs – that is real what women want as real Lit classes teach.

  23. MJ says:

    I don’t think Miss Rose is trying to say women are less than men. Here’s the point, women are genetically different than men. Our bodies our built different, our minds are built different. We aren’t the same. I’m fine to say, yes I can be in the Army, but no I’d rather not. We may like to believe the lie that men and women are the same but this just isn’t true. In the Army women have different Physical Training requierements to men, if this is equality then I don’t understand. If we truelly are the same shouldn’t we be the same in everything, if we have one standard for a man and another for a woman how can we still say that we are the same.

    Genetically women have a different job then men, women have the means to carry a child, something a man could never do.
    I am happy to say that even though I have grown up in a feministic society I am happy to have the dream to be a teacher, wife and mother. I could pursue a high scale career like a doctor or lawyer, but I know I wouldn’t enjoy it.

  24. Being a mother is like being a teacher. Rearing her children in the one True Faith.

  25. Eadg7 says:

    I am a woman currently taking classes in Molecular Environmental Biology at UC Berkeley. I would also like to add that I’m working on a minor in Religious Studies as well. That said, I am thoroughly offended by this post. Attempting to correlate my gender, or my sex for that matter, with my intellect is assinine. When my nose is buried in my molecular biology textbook I am not bothered by a lack of testosterone. When I discuss the newest theories of ecology with my friends (also female) my particular form of genitalia does not cross my mind. When I win at Scrabble and chess against my boyfriend it is not an exhausting attempt to keep up. It is simply who I am. I respect myself as a Person. I expect those around me to do so as well, if I am deserving. This is a personal account I would like all of you to consider. Life, for me, is not about being a woman. It is about being alive.

  26. fred says:

    “I am a woman…. Life, for me, is not about being a woman. ”
    Huh?

    “I am thoroughly offended by this post.”
    That’s nice. So what.

    “I respect myself as a Person.”
    And we don’t?!

    He made them male and female – that’s what it’s about.
    I guess the sciences are no longer safe from disordered thought…

  27. Tatiana L. says:

    Um, wait a minute. It’s true that most of the great philosophers were men. However, I am an aspiring theologian/philosopher and wish to have some great works among men. This post is saying that it’s not okay for me (I’m a woman!) to do this and that I should stay at home and be a homemaker.

    That doesn’t make any sense if I can reach that potential. Also, should we stay at home and become homemakers? The thing is, women can have jobs and still be feminine and nurturing. It’s as if this post is saying that we can’t do that. And if a job lets me work to that God-given potential, then so be it! Indeed, please address the conflict between being an intelligent person who can get a good-paying job and being forced to stay as a homemaker.

    I’m just saying. . . . Indeed, I do understand the need for gender roles. But I can’t accept them if that means I’m not going to be able to use the gifts that God gave me (especially since I have “manly” qualities like analysis, logic, and toughness as well as being motherly). It’s not as if God gave me useless gifts — especially if they can help the Church.

  28. Jm says:

    Dear Readers

    I love femininity in the truest Catholic sense of the word. Women, I think choosing to pursue your passion in life if it is a job of some sort is beautiful. right now I am reading Familiaris Consortio (encyclical on marriage and the family). I have to say that it does mention the fact that women now have right to work and vote etc. because we are of equal dignity of men. This was a beautiful and humanistic view on the part of the Church. This means that women ARE creative, inventive, and productive if they choose. Women are extremely capable, wonderful, passionate beings created equal to men. Maybe not in brute strength but in the strength of our HEARTS. COURage. “Cour” is the route word of heart. Courage means strength of heart. We are strong in our innermost being. This is a different strength. We choose to bear children and be married becuase it is written upon the wall of our heart, and our primary vocation; to do so and our deepest most desire is to love and to be a gift to another in such a way that it creates a new life.It is an equal giving. We are not simply servant to our husband. St. Paul said that we are to be submissive (respectful, listening, considerate, and knowing that he IS leading) but Husbands are called to love their wives as Christ loved the Church…CRUCIFIXION! This is a beautiful and Christ-like thing. We are servants to one another in our strengths. Our strengths are very different. Please do not put us down by saying that we are not creative, inventive, etc. We are nurturers and lovers, but we are complex, intelligent, creative, and all unique.

    I would, however like to see a woman embrace herself as such and live out her femininity in her love, and nurturing ability. The woman is a nurturer to all those around her. The world has twisted this view to see that our only use is pleasure, but our primary end and purpose is to love in a soft, caring, concerned, and sacrificial sort of way, where the only thing she can think of is the way that she might bring comfort to another to the point where she loses herself in it in imitation and love of Christ.

    God bless you all.

  29. Bianca says:

    Thank you for the wonderful article!

  30. Vicki says:

    “Our greatest fear should not be of failure but of succeeding in things in life that don’t really matter.” – Pastor Francis Chan

    I am an older woman, almost 60 years old to be exact. I’ve watched with interest the demise of many women. In their struggle to be equal to men, they have lost sight of the beautiful creation that they are. In most of the ‘women’s studies’ classes that are offered in colleges, the woman who gloried in caring for a husband and children and cherished managing a warm and welcoming home was made fun of. Various youtube videos can be found that were class projects to prove my point. If only women could embrace that which God created them to be, women would be so much happier! The younger women pour themselves into classes, careers and situations which they think will bring them true happiness, and they are finding that when they hit middle age, the lies that they were told would bring them total fulfillment have not. Many are wistfully looking back, wishing they had chosen another path in life only to find they are too late.

    I encourage those of you who are returning to the tried and true values of womanhood. Many young women are rejecting what society has said will make them happy and are taking up the call to marriage and family, realizing that pouring their gifts of love, nurture, grace, kindness, sacrifice and caring for others brings the fulfillment that their womanly hearts are yearning for. Honoring God as she performs these most feminine tasks brings greater joy yet! May you realize the desires of your hearts most gracious and lovely women that you are!

    Vicki

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